Why is it hard to keep overcoming procrastination and other bad habits, three days after having successfully lived without them?

Can anything be done to prevent such weakness from overcoming us?  Can one make THE positive behaviour a continuous norm, without any relapse whatsoever, either immediately or eventually?

I'm sure that even the most die hard procrastinator in the world has, at some point, exerted self control and saw some task or project through.  I would even say with certainty that it felt much better than procrastination too!  Why doesn't that new behaviour stick even when we want it?

This may shock you, but you don't have one mind, you have many. Shocking as this may seem, it is something you are familiar with, especially when you're under a procrastination attack and you know it.  One mind wants to finish up a task, the other wants to avoid it, they disagree and more often than not the mind that favours laziness wins!

This is an over simplification of the fact that there are parts of the brain dedicated to different priorities but it illustrates a point; they can end up in disagreement!

Unfortunately the mind that wants instant gratification is strongest; let's call this The Instinctive Mind. Politicians, convincing lawyers, advertisers and marketers all know this, and they talk directly to appeal to that instinctive mind in order to get others to do what THEY want.

The other mind that wants to do what is best done; we will call The Disciplined Mind!

So our minds are in a constant tug of war!  Instinct against Discipline, Gratification against Achievement, Comfort against Productivity and so on...

Now here's the other clue... Whenever the Disciplined Mind gets exercised it is stealing satisfaction from the Instinctive Mind, who will rebel as soon as it can.  Roman Emperors knew this very well.  They used to dispose of soldiers who had already fought hard because after a war, these soldiers would end up demanding payment, recognition, gold, women, wine, meat and they would generally spiral into a habit of spoiling themselves to the extent that they became incapable of the discipline required to be a soldier.

The Instinctive Mind at some point tends to over power the Disciplined Mind.  They both have their own important agendas; and they do conflict at times.

Let us make another analogy in order to understand this phenomenon better.  Professor Roy F. Baumeister of Florida State University and his college Kathleen D. Vohs have theorised it as follows. Will Power is like a muscle that consumes an amount of energy and once that is consumed it has to be filled up.  Viewing it in this manner does provide new ideas and suggest new approaches to do valuable research.  Their conclusions seem to indicate that for every thing you accomplish with effort you’ll have to be undisciplined with three things.

However, what I’m interested in is how we can be productive and efficient no matter how our minds work.  I only care about a reservoir of will power energy if one can tell me how to enlarge it and keep it filled up constantly as much as possible.

While in principle I’m saying the same thing as the respectable people mentioned above, I want to use the analogy of multiple minds simply because it provides me and the people I coach with a model that allows us to empower ourselves.  It is more helpful to see two minds that both have good intentions for us rather than a limited reserve of energy that depletes and leaves us doomed.  Scientifically, this model may not be as accurate as that of Professor Baumeister, we may never know, but in terms of practicality, I certainly prefer the two minds!  Simply adopting this more positive model is already an improvement.

OK!  Now how can we keep the Disciplined Mind in power?  How can we keep the Instinctive mind from rebelling?  Is there a way to get the instinctive mind to collaborate rather then distract?

Let us start with some good news first:  It can be done.  Keeping the disciplined mind in power for longer, bringing it back to power quickly, balancing between discipline and fun, harmonising the two of them; all of these are possible!  It is a skill that becomes better with practice and can be mastered.

How can we tell this is possible?

It is possible because there are people who do it.

I have known people who were chronic procrastinators and changed.

Many people have overcome chemical addictions.

Conflict between two priorities in our mind can be resolved with a very simple technique.

Sometimes energy for will power just comes back, we will see why and how.  Sometimes a single thought can inspire and provide energy from apparent nowhere.

Not only is it possible, but it is also fun.

Now that you’re aware of the two minds you will start paying attention to how power shifts between one another and this is helpful. The first requirement to control which mind is in power is to become aware of the power and its ability to shift from one mind to the other.

Watch out which mind is in power. See how different you feel when one mind is in power instead of the other. Learn to distinguish between the mental state of discipline and that of instinct.  Notice the shift.  Notice how giving power to the instinctive mind tends to create a downward spiral into procrastination.

That’s your task for now, just notice with curious awareness!

What is the next step?  When your ability to observe the two minds is good the next step is to act on what you learn.

As I was writing this, I came to realise that a great deal can be written on how to keep the Disciplined Mind from being over run.  So the following are only the quick and easy steps you can take to get a relief from the tendency to fall back into procrastination.

1)      Expect it

After you have exerted your discipline be ready for the Instinctive Mind to start its usual siren song with lyrics that say "I deserve a good break now, I’ve succeeded quite a lot already compared to usual".

2)      Talk to your minds

Remember how I told you to observe the minds.  Guess who is observing?  It is another mind!  This mind can also talk to the Instinctive and Disciplined minds.   This process is as easy as play; you just make a discussion in your mind where you ask your minds questions and come up with answers.  Imagination is a great, powerful tool for self development, use it!

3)      Reach an agreement between the two

Ask both of them what they want for you.  Check to see why they are acting the way they do.  You will find that they both have good intentions for you and this means that an agreement can be reached.  Continue the discussion until an agreement is found.  You may find that during such discussions new insights and solutions come up so I suggest you keep pen and paper to take notes of these.  Also, when the agreement is reached (or a starting point for it), the wisest thing to do is to write it down.

4)      Give space and balance to both minds

When there’s work to be done, find ways the instinctive mind can enjoy it, visualise your goals in the most beautiful ways, add music while you work if you can.  Reward yourself for tasks well done.  And when you’re not working, just unwind and have a good time!

5)      Be aware that after relapse there’s a downward spiral to avoid

The Instinctive Mind tends to get carried away when left to run the show.  This tendency to over indulge is what makes the relapse work against you not the Instinctive Mind’s wish to have fun.  Do allow the instinctive mind to have fun when the tasks for that day are done to your best ability.  However, remind it, with a degree of conviction, that overdoing it will cost more hapiness in the end.

Take it as a rule –

Know when enough is enough and that's finally enough!

6) Keep the agreement properly

You've been disciplined?  Well done- now get a reward for the Instinctive mind because it deserves a prize for giving discipline a space.

Make this a routine and later on it will even start getting rewards for sticking to the schedule - it will even start liking it!

To this day I have people teasing me because I reward myself with chocolate. I am a big believer in rewarding my own discipline!

7)                  Learn to teach the instinctive mind to enjoy what the Disciplined Mind wants

This can be done by playing around with something called submodalities which students of NLP or readers of my book will be familiar with.

For the rest, a simple method would be that of making the task really fun in ones imagination until the instinctive mind starts to buy into the idea that the task and its outcome are desirable.  Again; imagination is a great, powerful tool, use it!

This is how energy will come out of apparent nowhere.

8)                  Use only healthy rewards

I use sugar-free dark chocolate as a reward.  Alternative I also use are good time with friends, good music, visualising my dreams achieved in detail, walks in nature and video game sessions!

Don't use alcoholics, smoke or gambling as rewards even in small amounts.  It's a really bad idea, since these items have built in factors that favor the very downward spiral you need to avoid at all cost.  Chemical rewards like alcohol, nicotine, caffeine or other less politically acceptable alternatives mess with the brain and will ruin the balance between fun and effectiveness you are trying to create.

Speaking of chemical intakes; sweets should be taken moderately and only if your health can afford it.

Make sure the rewards are healthy for you.  If you have no idea what rewards are possible ask around and let your imagination fly wild.  I've had some of my students suggest things I'd never have thought of.  Long baths, aromatherapy massage, buying freash mp3s on iTunes and even forming a clique of friends that enjoy their time out together simply to compensate for completing tasks!

9)                   Every now and then delay a reward a bit longer

Have you ever felt disappointed because you were going to miss something on TV and then found out that missing it wasn't that bad?  Missing things we crave is never THAT bad.  Use this to your advantage.

Once the agreement starts becoming a habit (not sooner) begin to gradually delaying the reward.  Start with delaying for three minutes; then gradually increase the delay!  This increases the ability to keep discipline for longer.

10)              Keep going

No matter what writers of self-help material like me promise, there is one fact that cannot be denied.  Success is possible but the greater the success; the greater it requires persistence, discipline and delay of gratification.  I hope that with this article I brought these requirements nearer to your reach.

Whatever you do, just don’t let your lower self run the show alone.  A friend (who read my book) recently said:

You only know how bad procrastination is ruining your life when you start living without procrastination!

This quotation is the message I’ve been trying to communicate to people all along; I couldn’t put it better myself.  Don’t miss out on what you are capable of, you deserve better.

With these tips, some practice and a willingness to succeed; we can all become more self disciplined than we currently are.  Done properly, one doesn’t need to sacrifice the fun to improve.  Most things in life are a question of balance and when that balance is learned, fun and effectiveness are not only un-sacrificed, but they are multiplied by the harmony between them.

For more solutions for procrastination and techniques to constantly perform to the best your minds have to offer – Get my book at www.ultimateprocrastinationcure.com

Best Wishes – Mark Mifsud